Struggling with what a parent should do to benefit their child...

Sometimes, I think, wow, wait - why would I leave a job with benefits with mediocre pay, a great boss, freedom of hours, walk to work of 20 minutes, in one the best cities in north america? Is it my responsibility to give up any dreams and any ideas I might have, for the greater good of ensuring she has a stable childhood? Is it really my job to ensure that all goes smoothly for her and the hiccups are minimal?

Sometimes I wonder if I am being selfish.

But then, sometimes, I think that this journey we are planning to take will teach her more than any school will and by doing this, we are forced to live simply, which means less time spent working , ultimately creating more time for her and her development. Instead, is it my responsibility to show her what living without invisible boundaries should be like? That we are given chances and opportunities to make our lives better but it is up to us if we take them?

Perhaps it's just the urge to over think things in this day and age can lead to us to worrying more about the future, instead of just enjoying the present. Parenting is such a personal thing and everyone wonders if they are doing it right....

being a modern day work slave...

the article below talks about the lack of freedom you start to feel, particularly when you work so hard and have a really hard time seeing any reward for that. Monetarily, I feel no rewards for my hard work, because we go into into my over draft every single month on a single income, but I have a greater reward than money for my hard work. I see that everyday, when i get home, my little gal is with her daddy - she excitedly runs to the door to tell me what they did that day, who they saw, what toy dropped in pee at the park (don't ask) and I can come home, see her wrapped in a blanket with daddy, on the couch, reading the latest haul of books from the library. Moments which have reinforced that why should i feel like slave, when the door is really wide open and I have the ability and power to change that? How having time & space with those you that you love is really all we need to make us feel whole, not those teal suede boots I just saw in that shop window or that gadget that everyone is swooning about... 

http://sustainableman.org/what-it-means-to-be-a-modern-day-slave/

we have tried to simplify our lives... so, we took these steps:

1. one income (mine, as an admin asst) so that we keep M-Cakes out of daycare. Daycare for her would be $1300 a month - the same as our rent, which I cannot fathom. This keeps O-dad from feeling drained from blue collar labour that he does not enjoy and keeps Molly at home with a parent. we aren't saying everyone should do this, it just works for us and our personal beliefs about how we want M-Cakes raised.

2. O-Dad got rid of his cellphone 3 years ago.

3. i got rid of all of the data on my phone. I only have 60 outgoing texts a month and 60 minutes of talk time on my phone. The amount of times, i would aimlessly pick up my phone to putter around on facebook, google, email, text, shop - it was such a waste. I started doing that while at the park with M-Cakes and that was when i knew enough was enough. I had to do this and get rid of the grip this phone had on me. But the best part of all this, AFTER going through the harsh withdrawal symptoms, is that my phone bill is $15 a month. yup. thats it. this gave a another small taste of what actual freedom feels like - not to be ensnared by an object that takes away time from your loved ones. 

4. we just don't buy stuff. we really don't. o-dad would KILL me if i came home from a store with a fancy vase or a new pair of boots (i already have three, and I never wear them, really.) we don't buy frivolous stuff. we buy the odd vinyl record (only after both parties have approved the purchase, that is!) and we but some booze, here and there and we see live music shows. That is all we buy. I can't even bring myself to buy papertowels (hullo?!? use a hand towel!). the other day - o-dad fixed my hairbrush, so i wouldnt have to buy another, and you know what, it works beautifully (pics to follow and you won't believe your eyes..hah), and we spend money on day trips or weekend getaways. that is it.

5. we don't have a car. 'nuff said. havent had a car in 2 years. sometimes, it's a pain in the ass, but most of the time, it's fine.

check out these guys - they are inspirations... http://www.theminimalists.com/stuff/

and check out how to de-crapify your home

http://lifehacker.com/5804927/how-to-de+crapify-your-home

next steps towards life simplification, we purge the apartment of our worldly goods....